


You who suffer because you love, love still more

by xiamer



Series: Those who do not weep, do not see [2]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, again there isn’t really a happy ending, also, i just wanted to let you know in case you wanted to see something there, im tagging e/R even though it’s really not a focus, it’s just sad, so none of my other hcs apply to this one, this is not set in the universe of any of my other fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24924268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiamer/pseuds/xiamer
Summary: Title is from the brickCombeferre could not remember a time where they argued; that was simply not how his and Enjolras’ friendship worked.This is Combeferre's perspective of “With him, life was routine; without him, life was unbearable.”I’d recommend reading that first, but I suppose this could work as a one shot
Relationships: Combeferre & Enjolras (Les Misérables), Combeferre/Courfeyrac (Les Misérables), Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Those who do not weep, do not see [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803691
Comments: 10
Kudos: 16





	You who suffer because you love, love still more

**Author's Note:**

> whoop !! i did it, i wrote a sequel 
> 
> poor baby enj, i just love to hurt him 
> 
> also, if you haven’t checked the tags, just know that none of my fics are set in the same universe, unless they’re in a series 
> 
> so “In which Enjolras makes a group chat” and “Life’s great happiness is to be convinced we are loved” are not related to this fic, or too each other 
> 
> dw, im not gonna kill enjolras in my funny fic
> 
> ***turn back now if you don’t want to read a sad fic w character death***

Combeferre could not remember a time where they argued; that was simply not how his and Enjolras’ friendship worked. 

Or at least he thought so. 

It had started out like any other meeting, nothing out of the ordinary. Yes, both him and Enjolras had been more stressed than usual, but that was bound to happen due to exams coming up. 

Combeferre hadn’t known that Enjolras had been off of his medication for so long; hadn’t known that he couldn’t get in contact with his pharmacist. He knew now, but that didn’t matter did it?

And since he didn’t know that fact, when Enjolras snapped at him, Combeferre responded in kind. The two never fought, and it was almost as though they were making up for lost time. 

They had never fought, so every insult was new. 

There had been explosive fights before; Grantaire and Enjolras were practically famous for it. However, Grantaire was out of town that particular meeting. 

It was strange. Grantaire and Enjolras fought all the time; it seemed that they bickered over the littlest things. However, Grantaire also calmed him down. If Enjolras got testy with someone else in the group, Grantaire would redirect him to the earlier conversation. 

Enjolras’ words were bullets, but Grantaire turned them to water. He was never put down for long. When Grantaire was around, things were fine and things were normal. 

Without Grantaire, there was no barrier between Enjolras’ frustration and Combeferre. 

Enjolras snapped first, and Combeferre responded. They spent all of 45 minutes shouting at each other before Combeferre was fed up. 

With a piercing glare, he spun on his heel and walked out of the Musain. A few moments later he had Courfeyrac at his side. 

“What the actual fuck was his problem?” 

Courfeyrac practically hissed the words. He wasn’t the one who had fought with Enjolras, but he was completely furious with the way their friend had treated his boyfriend. 

Combeferre sighed. 

“The culmination of many things, I suppose.”

“Do you think he meant it?”

“Usually I would say no, but I’m not even sure how to react to this situation. We never fight, Courf! I can’t remember a time where we’ve done more than have a small disagreement.”

They got into the lift for their building. Courfeyrac embraced Combeferre. The latter sighed again. 

“I just- He never means anything bad he says about Grantaire. We’ve never fought before, so now I’m paranoid that he’s been sitting on that for 18 years.”

They were off the lift and in the flat before Courfeyrac responded. 

“You know what I think? I think that there was some part of him that needed to lash out, you’re both so stressed, but since R wasn’t there, you were the next person in line.”

“But… Why?”

Combeferre, the steadfast guide of the group, was on the verge of tears. He simply didn’t understand. 

This time it was Courfeyrac’s turn to sigh. 

“I really don’t know. I’m so sorry I can’t give you a reason. I can’t really justify Enjolras’ actions tonight.”

They were sat on the couch, and though Combeferre was taller by far, he shifted so that he was nearly atop Courfeyrac’s lap. Courfeyrac responded by pulling him in closer and wrapping his arms around Combeferre. 

They turned on the television and watched a movie, though neither was really paying attention. 

The first call came at 21h54. 

Courfeyrac reached for his phone, and his expression soured when he saw who the call was from. 

“It’s Enjolras.”

Combeferre didn’t even think before responding, “Let it ring.”

Courfeyrac shrugged and threw his phone down on the neighbouring cushion. 

When the call ended, Courfeyrac raised an eyebrow at Combeferre. The unspoken question was answered with a small nod. 

Courfeyrac opened his voicemail box and checked his messages. 

“Hey Courf. I know you and Combeferre definitely haven’t forgiven me yet, and you probably won’t anytime soon, if ever. But I just wanted to call and see if you were alright? Yeah… now that I say it, that’s a stupid question. But anyway, call me back maybe? I may call again soon, just to check. I’m so sorry, and I just want you to be okay.”

Combeferre made a small, but irritated noise in the back of his throat. 

“If he cared, why didn’t he call me?”

Courfeyrac wrinkled his nose. 

“Wish I could answer that. His brain just goes out the window when he has to face up to his actions.”

Combeferre just wiggled closer than before, and they went back to not-watching their movie. 

It was less than 20 minutes later when Courfeyrac got a text from Feuilly. 

“Feuilly says Enjolras called him and asked pretty much the same thing that he asked me in the voicemail. Feuilly was pretty short in telling him that you were not okay, and he feels a little bad, but at the same time he doesn’t regret it.”

Combeferre gave the closest thing to a genuine laugh that he had given all night. 

“Give Feuilly my thanks.”

Courfeyrac gave him a small smile before confirming that he had indeed done so. 

Five minutes later he got another text, this time from Jehan. 

“Jehan says Enjolras also called them. Same general idea as before. Jehan says they just let it ring.”

“I wish he’d just call me instead.”

Courfeyrac gave a sympathetic noise whilst he typed out a response to Jehan. This time he doesn’t put his phone too far. He’s sure he’ll get another message soon. 

The next text is from Joly a little past 23h00. Courfeyrac groans and reaches for his phone. 

“Joly got a call this time. Says Enjolras sounded pretty resigned this time.”

Combeferre made a small hum of acknowledgement to make sure that Courfeyrac knew he had heard him, but other than that he was silent. 

They’re both dozing off a little by the time the phone rings again. It's a little past midnight. Courfeyrac gives a weary sigh before seeing that it’s Enjolras once again, and he lets it ring. He turns to Combeferre and asks, “Voicemail?” to which Combeferre nods. 

“Hey Courfeyrac. It's me again. I know you won’t answer, and you have good reason for that. Just checking in again. Call me back?”

Combeferre’s expression darkens, only by a fraction. Courfeyrac doesn’t even ask the question; he already knows the answer. 

He doesn’t call him back. 

There’s less time until the next call. 

Courfeyrac lets it ring for the third time that night, and checks the message after. 

“Hey again. Call me back? Please?”

Combeferre notices that Enjolras has begun to sound desperate. He shouldn’t feel so satisfied, but he doesn’t push the feeling away. 

The fourth call comes in at around half past midnight. 

“I don’t know if you’re listening to these, but if you are, I’m sorry and I love you both. Please. Please, call me back-“

Combeferre frowns a little at the pause. It's not like Enjolras to stumble over words. 

“Call me back Courf. I need to know you’re okay.”

Courfeyrac rubs at his temples. He’s beginning to completely lose his cool. Combeferre touches his arm and Courfeyrac’s expression softens. 

The fifth call of the night comes from Combeferre’s phone at 00h54, exactly 3 hours after the first. This is the first one they answer. 

“Julien, you’ve called almost everyone but me tonight.”

Combeferre doesn’t even give him the chance to answer first. 

“Com-Combeferre? I’m so sorry. I swear- I swear I didn’t mean it.”

His voice sounds oddly strained. Was apologising truly that hard for him? Combeferre furrows his brow before responding. 

“Why call me now? Three hours later you call. You’ve called Courfeyrac 4 times, Feuilly, Jehan and Joly once. But not me. Why now?”

“Did all of them get my voicemails?”

Combeferre gives an agitated sigh to Enjolras’ deflection of the question. 

“Yes. They did. Will you answer my question?”

Enjolras doesn’t answer. Instead, he gives a seemingly forced, yet soft laugh. Courfeyrac looks positively mutinous at this point. 

“Julien, what’s the laugh for?”

Enjolras gives a small noise of confusion. 

“Am I on speaker?”

“Yes.”

“Oh- Oh- oh good. I just- just wanted to apologise. I know you may think- may think that they’re empty words, but you both know as well as any that I don’t lie- lie. And what purpose would there be for a man to lie on his deathbed?”

Deathbed? Combeferre turns to Courfeyrac with one brow raised. Courfeyrac irritatedly hums. 

“Julien, you’re not going to die from an argument.”

Courfeyrac throws up his hands as he says it. He is angry. Combeferre is simply confused. 

When Enjolras speaks again, it sounds like a prayer. 

“Ferre… I’m so very sorry. I love you in a way that only I can… I didn’t mean to break our bond… I love… love you.”

Both of Combeferre’s eyebrows shoot up now. He must have some sort of panic etched into his face because Courfeyrac hugs him tightly. 

“Julien?”

There’s no response. 

“Enjolras?”

Again no response. Has the call ended?

“What the fuck,” Courfeyrac mutters under his breath. “Should I end the call?”

“I guess so. I don’t think we’re going to get a response from him.”

Courfeyrac nods, and hits the end call button. As he watches his boyfriend hang up on his best friend, he can’t help but feel sick to his stomach, but he is completely unsure why. 

The time is 1h03. They decide to go to bed. 

The next morning, Combeferre wakes up earlier than he would like. The loud noise of his ringtone is echoing around the room. He picks up his phone and answers the call. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Jean-Michel Combeferre?”

“Yes it is.”

Combeferre hears a long exhale on the other end. 

“This is Inspector Javert with the Paris police force. I believe we’ve been acquainted before.”

Combeferre’s blood suddenly turns icy. What had happened last night. Before he can respond, Javert continues. 

“Could you come down to the station? I need you for something that I don’t wish to disclose over the phone.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Good.”

And with that, Javert ends the call. 

Combeferre looks around their flat. Courfeyrac is still snoring on their couch. Despite the knot in his gut, Combeferre spares a fond smile for his boyfriend. Instead of waking him up, he decides to just write a note. 

_ Hey Courf, I got a weird call from Javert; asked me to come down to the station. Just wanted to let you know where I was. _

_ Be back soon  _

_ -C _

He pulled on his coat and shoes, and began the trek to the police station. 

Everything felt positively normal that morning, and he was enjoying the warming temperature. 

That was, until he walked by a specific alley. 

It was just like any other, but there was a red pool of liquid on the concrete. The knot in Combeferre’s stomach twisted, as though it were a knife. He knew exactly what that liquid was. 

Combeferre began to walk faster and soon he reached the station. He quickly pushed open the doors and politely told the receptionist that he was there for Javert. She told him to wait just a moment. 

Javert walked out and extended his hand for a shake. Then, he gestured for Combeferre to follow him to a backroom. As they walked, the temperature seemed to drop. Or perhaps it actually was, as soon they were walking into a morgue. 

Combeferre’s brain suddenly flashes back to last night’s call. 

No. 

It couldn’t be. 

Javert turned to face him. 

“I never wanted this day to come, M. Combeferre. I know that we have met before when you’ve had to bail your friends out, but I hoped we never would have to meet in these circumstances-“

Javert broke eye contact for a moment, and it seemed as though he had to regain his composure. 

“-I already know the answer, but for formalities I must ask you to identify a body.”

All of the air left the room as soon as Javert spoke the last word. 

_ A body.  _

_ A body.  _

_ A body.  _

Combeferre turned to him horrified, before Javert led him to a table in the back, and pulled the sheet back to reveal a youthful face with golden ringlets framing it. 

No.

No no no no no. 

This wasn’t real. 

Javert sighed. It was a terrible sound. 

“M. Combeferre, do you know this man?”

Combeferre hid his face in his hands for a few moments. When he raised his head back up, his voice cracked as he uttered a small “Yes”. 

Javert cleared his throat and looked away. 

“Would you like a moment?”

“Please,” he croaked. 

He nodded, and walked out of the room. 

Combeferre let out a choked sob. 

“Oh Julien… what have you done to yourself?”

He gathered enough bravery to pull back the sheet more. It revealed the perfectly unblemished skin of Enjolras’ chest. It all looked so normal until it was pulled down enough to reveal his stomach. 

Combeferre raised his hands to his mouth in shock. 

Marring the pale skin of his best friend’s stomach was an ugly red gash. 

A knife wound, thought Combeferre bitterly. 

Someone had seen his best friend, his little brother. Someone had seen Enjolras walking through Paris, and had decided to end his life. Someone had seen the gorgeously confident man, and had chosen to take him from the Earth. 

And Combeferre had done nothing. 

Was this all his fault? If he hadn’t argued with Enjolras last night, if he hadn’t taken the bait, would he still be alive?

Combeferre shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. He could blame himself later, for now, he had to move forward. 

Pressing a kiss to the forehead of the permanently sleeping man, Combeferre pulled the sheet back up to hide his face from view. 

He walked back out to the front of the station, where Javert awaited him. 

“I’ll be in touch in the next couple of days once we can figure out exactly what happened.”

Combeferre gave a small nod, and turned to leave. Before he could open the door, Javert had placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Take care of yourself, would you? I give your group a hard time after protests because it’s my job. I would never have wished for this to happen.”

Combeferre’s eyes welled with tears and he gave a watery smile. 

“Thank you sir.”

Javert nodded and walked back to his office as Combeferre exited the building. 

He pulled out his phone and opened their group chat. 

**Combeferre** : When is everyone free? We need to call a short notice meeting ASAP. 

Combeferre walked to an empty bench and waited for the replies. 

**Author's Note:**

> like it ? love it ? hate it ? im just glad you read it
> 
> third part ??? maybe ???
> 
> i left you on a cliffhanger ending im sorry but this will motivate me to write a third part if you guys want it 
> 
> thank you for support on the last one and on my other fics !! you’re literally the best and i love you all !!
> 
> -el <3


End file.
